Freak Out Week ...

The problem with finishing treatment for breast cancer

 is that now I have to start living up to all the bloody deals I made with myself

you have so much time on your hands feeling lousy 

 that you make all sorts of grand plans of what you are going to do post treatment

which is not a bad thing

after all how often do we get time away as an adult to stop and think about what we are doing and how we want to live

it is a rare thing and is also this awesome opportunity

but then you have to start living up to the promises you made to yourself

and that can lead you to a week

 that has you longingly drawing cocktails during breakfast on a Thursday

so this has been a bit of a snapshot of my week...

look at new facebook page for my art

freak out that it is gaining followers steadily

and feel like I have to be less half arsed and become professional all of a sudden

this is trumped by my natural half-arsery and I then only put up a few posts

so feel comfortably back in my haphazard comfort zone

start to put together some stuff for the online shop

realise it is going to require me to organise the pit of a draw where I keep finished work

which makes me have a mild anxiety attack so figure I will sort the online stuff first

spend an hour achieving nothing

other than reinforcing my belief that I may in fact be tech dyslexic 

freak out completely that no one would want to buy prints and things

and promptly drink 4 cups of tea and twenty squares of chocolate to calm myself

and achieve absolutely nothing... nada... zip

except for being well fuelled with tea and chocolate

I also managed to procrastinate my arse off by doing all those necessary things like

alphabetising some cd's, not all of them mind... just about a third

stacking all the food mags that I want to go through into a teetering pile

then didn't touch one of them

I even mopped the bloody floors and I hate mopping an inordinate amount

but then I decided to jump back in

 after all I can't wimp out on all those plans that I made in the middle of the night while thoughtfully stroking my baldy head

so next I decide to start planning some classes in more detail

and spend 2 hours trying to round up the different notebooks that have all the ideas in them

I swear those notebooks are sick sadists who like to torture me 

by hiding and moving when I am not looking

and yes one notebook would make more sense

but let's just remember who we are talking about here... 

thinking of classes reminds me I am teaching at a class next year

so I decide it is time to film the teacher interview for Soul Food

and freak out at seeing myself on screen

that last half eyebrow really doesn't want to come in I have to say

try again and freak out when the dog sneaks in and licks my leg

causing me to use an expletive that is not very Soul Food appropriate

the next try is interrupted by a yelp and cry from the dog

which is due to him heading to the back yard and being rushed by a rogue scrub turkey

that mysteriously has taken up residence in our yard at odd times

saving the little leg licker from the creepy turkey

 was followed by a sneezing fit two minutes into the next try

the next version ended up being shot at a tilt

then I got a bit handsy and excited and spilt a cup of tea on myself

and finally another expletive moment when the dog revisited licking my foot

at which point I decided to give it a rest for another day

 

At this point it is Thursday morning

and I decide it is time to give myself some painting time

which resulted in the cocktail page above which magically calmed my brain

and after a solid day in the studio creating the paintings in this post

my brain was functioning enough for me to actually get some things achieved

So the achievement is that I have most things in place to do a big relaunch of

the Cuppa With friends Project next Tuesday

or maybe Wednesday... no let's go with Tuesday

starting the project back up was one of the biggest promises I made to myself during treatment and I am actually doing it

so pop by next week and check it out... there is a very cool giveaway involved

happy painting all...xx