Tuesday, 15 July 2014

Coming back for more...

The blithe statement at the end of the last post that I was off to paint up the deer heads
may have been a touch premature
as they appear to be a little more challenging than I expected
so you are getting new sketches of a perfume bottle or two
After a few rather disastrous attempts at the deer
Which kept looking oddly like cows that had been run over by steamrollers
I turned to finishing off some perfume bottles to get my confidence back
Not that it was that shaken... more stirred perhaps
And a perfume bottle or two put it to rights
especially as they were both able to be painted in my favourite blues

One of the things I love about drawing and painting is the whole risk of it
every now and again you get something that turns around and bites you on the hand
 nothing you do can save it... and it bites you again and again
it may be a seemingly innocuous looking mug
or something as different as a miniature cardboard deer head
you never know which things are going to have a piece of your drawing sanity
it is one of the great challenges and always keeps it interesting
never knowing if this is the painting that is going to explode in your hands is half the fun
the whole high creative stakes thing is kind of what I love if I am honest

I know sometimes people get freaked out by the whole ruining it phenomenon
and I am not entirely immune to that
but I like that slight quickening of the heartbeat before you put paint onto a drawing
I like the leap, the whole risk factor, the who knows how it will turn out feeling
It is fabulous how it makes me concentrate and focus and not draw on automatic pilot
I like that the solution has to be puzzled out and the process is not immediately obvious
if I am feeling that then I know I will be creatively engaged and interested
It makes me happy just thinking about it

After all it isn't exactly going to have huge consequences is it 
if a painting is mucked up
the world isn't going to suddenly tilt on its axis leading to total annihilation
the way it would if I was to ever see the end of the washing pile
there is no physical risk to life and limb
Though perhaps Sinus may feel there is a risk to his life and limb
if I am having a bad drawing day
It doesn't mean life is bad, or I am bad, or that I can never laugh again
or that I will never create anything of worth ever again
I am not going to suddenly lose heart and quit drawing because I made a dud
It's just not that big a deal in the scheme of things... It is just pen and paper and a bit of paint
I have destroyed my share of paintings... every week
And there isn't a sketchbook on the shelf that doesn't have pages that are appalling
but I can say there isn't one piece of work that has made my life worse

I haven't learnt from all of them
I have repeated the same mistakes... Many times
I have mucked up and destroyed perfectly promising starts
But then I have also had success clutched from the jaws of defeat
Pieces that make me happy and bring back great memories
Finished work I am proud of, or moderately tolerant of as well as some that I think are utter crap
But they are all mine... My time, my effort, my results
imperfect, a disaster or fabulous... it just doesn't matter
it means that I have had time to paint and draw
The bad ones make me more creatively resilient
And the good ones keep me coming back for more
So bring on more squished cow deer heads people... I am ready for them

happy painting all...xx


Anonymous said...

such a wonderful encouraging post!! I agree, we may fumble and bumble but that one success makes it all so worth while, its a feeling like no other, I fewer of those moments since my sight went south but there are still mini, successes!
You on the other hand have many successes!

TwinkleToes2day said...

Your words always inspire me and make me 'gird my loins', (what a FAB expression that is! lol), for my next attempt at making something on paper look even a little like what is physically in front of me. So thank you!
Now, your blue bottles are gorgeous! The shapes, the colours, the amazing glass like shading and highlighting. All gorgeous.
Now bumble back to the drawing board and slay those deer, dear! Lol! :D I had to. Did I? Yes I did! :D xox

Jennifer McLean said...

hehehe, I needed to hear this. You were just in time. I had just finished homework for SBS and in the end i kinda screwed it up a little. Reading what you said helped immensely. Thanks Trace. You ROCK.

cjsrq said...

Well said! You put it all in great perspective. I love your perfume bottles!

carol l mckenna said...

I love your style of finding the 'sacred in the ordinary' ~ Lovely illustrations of the perfume bottles ! ^_^

artmusedog and carol

(A Creative Harbor)

Anonymous said...

Beautifully said. Kate xo

Linda Kunsman said...

such an honest post , and very affirming for what so many of us may feel sometimes. LOVE your perfume bottles!!!

Arnoldo L. Romero, MLA said...

I couldn't have said it better. As artists, every piece we create is a part of us, rather it's considered "good" or "bad." Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

alarmcat said...

Well said, Tracey!!

i can think of nothing else I do in life that I muck up as often as I do drawing and painting. But I keep coming back for more!!

Sheila said...

Here I am reading along, and I suddenly remember that I have a small, square, blue RL bottle. Or had. I have cleaned every nook and corner of my studio/room. I have been cleaning for four days. (Not because the room is huge. I stopped to watch a movie, or three)
I got very sad, looking at your vivid painting - thinking that my tiny treasure was gone forever. I have cleaned myself into a corner. Literally. Just a few odds and ends on my desk to find a home for.There was really only one place the bottle could be. I keep some jewelry in a cubbie drawer on my desk. I opened the drawer and started feeling around, and... it was there. Color me happy :)

Shilpa Nagaonkar said...

Fascinating sketch work, Tracey. I always love your blue shades, here pink and orange has created wonder.

Kokila gupta said...

Hi Tracey, I am Kokila from http://sunshineandblueclouds.blogspot.in/
Loved your illustrations and the colour palette.The blues, the pinks and the oranges... The perfume bottles created by you look heavenly.
Happy painting/blogging..

Rita said...

Oh, Sweetie! This is so true and honest. And, BTW--your bottles are prettier than the real ones. Really! :)

PaintingWrite said...

My favourite colour of blue too! Great post and so true-I'm doing plenty of ripping up these days as I experiment with new things-some work some don't but it's all a learning curve. X

Margarita said...

Totalmente de acuerdo, Tracy. En mis pequeños intentos por plasmar las pequeñas cosas me doy cuenta de mis muchos errores, pero disfruto haciendo y eso es lo que importa. Por otra parte,la perfección puntual alienta, pero de producirse de manera continuada, seria un aburrimiento. Son los errores los que espolean nuestra mente, los que abren nuevos caminos en esa búsqueda de soluciones. Sus botes de perfume son hermosos precisamente por no ser una mera copia del original. No buscamos una pintura que sea una fotografía, buscamos sentir,interpretar, expresar, trasmitir... Sus tarros de perume son hermosos, sí.

Abrazos, Tracy

HollyM said...

This post resonates with me as I met my 'deer head' yesterday. And it was something as innocuous as a seashell. You've expressed your successes and failures In ways I've been unable to. I love your insight and great sense of humour!

Debbie Nolan said...

Tracy - what an encouraging post. I feel the same way - things I would never share with a living soul but I had fun creating the mess and isn't that what art is all about in the end - are we having fun yet?? Have a great day.

Polly Birchall said...

These perfume bottles are a triumph. Great hobby isn't it, you think you're getting somewhere and then that unpredictable brush lets you down.

Jo Murray said...

That's what I like about you...onward and upward!

Anonymous said...

Even you least favorites look brilliant to me. So love your making the what could be mundane shine. xox

Sandra Busby said...

Oh I am so glad that in your latest post you asked if we had missed this one - because I almost did!! This is one blog I LOVE to visit and I want to see everything!! I'm quite sure that your disasters would be my masterpieces and I've never seen anything remotely questionable on you blog... You must have hidden them all! These bottles are completely awesome - of course!! :0)