Friday, 6 June 2014

Where The Fairies Go....


 I have had quite the traumatic day or so and it is all because I had to do the dishes
this situation came about because the newly adult 18 year old daughter
Who thanks all of you for the birthday wishes by the way
Toddled off to uni and didn't unpack the dishwasher
Now some mothers may just get in and unpack it, shaking their heads and smiling at the forgetfulness of their spawn
But principle dictates that I do no such thing and let her lazy sod arse off the hook
So I did what all normal mothers do and passive aggressively muttered about doing the dishes by hand and started to fill the sink
I pushed the strainer plug thingy into place and turned the water to full bore Niagra setting because it isn't hand washing unless there are suds up to your chin
and happily squeezed in some dish liquid and it was then that I saw it
In that horrible moment I realised where the cleaning fairies had gone


In my hands was the most disturbing thing I have ever seen... 
Ok not the most disturbing, after all there was the time I picked up what I thought was one of Mushu's old toys in the yard but it turned out to be some sort of disgusting fur ball instead... That was gross on a level that can only be imagined
But it was pretty horrifying to think I was washing dishes with a bottle of liquidised fairies
my immediate thought was to abandon the now traumatic experience of hand washing in favour of the dishwasher
but I then realised that maybe Sinus had also changed our dishwasher tablet brand as well
And you guessed it... More poor fairies... These ones were blue and green and squished up into little pillows of horror.... so many levels of wrong right there


Now I'm not saying they deserve it but my fairy was nothing to write home about
 Never bloody turned up and did a rather ordinary job when she did
but even slack arse fairies don't deserve that I expect
  And though I do confess to being a tad curious about what sort of machine is used to squeeze the lemony smelling cleaning essence out of fairies
 I am feeling a bit worried that maybe they are being bottled into extinction. 
Making it all worse the label has a crest/ crown thingy
which makes me think all this has the Queen's stamp of approval
the fairies have obviously done a rubbish job at Buckingham Palace at some stage
moral of the story is to not get on the wrong side of the Queen obviously


Added to the potential horror of the Queen approving wholesale slaughter of fairies
there is also a confusing baby on the label... A very purposeful striding baby 
Why? .... Is he the fairy catcher? .... Is he a special baby that poops fairies and then they bottle them? ... Is he striding off the label in some sort of baby outrage? .... Or  is he so jaded he is bored by the whole thing and is popping down the pub? 
No clue why he is present, or what he has to do with the large scale kidnapping and juicing of fairies, but he is striding with great purpose...


Confusing striding baby aside I was now left with a quandary
Do I wash the dishes in poor fairy juice seeing as the sink is already half filled or do I take a stand and refuse to use any more fairy products?
Of course it isn't going to help the fairies already bottled for my cleaning convenience so I decided to honour those poor glittery souls and do the dishes as planned
See the trauma that not unpacking the dishwasher can lead to
there is a lesson to be learned from all that...

happy painting all...xx

linking with Paint Party Friday

40 comments:

Lynn Cohen said...

I hate to be the one to break it to you mom but you suddenly had one major hysterical "My baby' flown the nest and marched off to Uni and left me home without her to do her dishes!!" Whaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Delightful drawings which btw is healing therapy for hurty hearts!

Rita said...

I can't help but wonder if Phoebe has read this tale of fairy woe? ;) Did she know of the mysterious fairy juicings and striding baby? Has she learned her lesson about emptying the dishwasher?

That bottle gives me the heebie jeebies!

Laurie M said...

it won't likely be the last time, lol, beautiful sketching!!I hope you are aside from washing dishes with Fairy juice, I will be a while getting that image out of my head!

minnemie said...

Hahahaha, absolutely hilarious! Only you...:-)

Michellem said...

Silly girl - you always make me laugh. We don't have Fairy Soap so I don't have to worry about the extinction of fairies! We do however have the same dishwasher "pillows" and they make me very happy - especially since they are working in my new dishwasher - I had been battling my old one for years (nearly 10) and was using up to 5 pieces of heavy duty tape to hold it shut. Finally the top rack broke and Corey said I could have a new one- Oh happy day! Makes emptying the dishwasher so much better when the dishes are actually clean - says a lot about the state of my life that clean dishes make me happy, right?

Lynn Richards said...

Hmmm...one would think if it's called Fairies, it would just do all the work FOR YOU!

Darnell J Knauss said...

Well. Well, gosh, Trace, I'm thinking this should be reported to the UN or something. Shirley, people don't know that there is a company pulverizing fairies for dish soap? They would never abide that sort of behavior. Thank you for bringing this to everyone's attention. Email me the petition and I will sign it and forward it on to all my friends, especially the fairy ones playing with the dust bunnies under the bed.

Did it ever occur to you that we could play one hilarious game of telephone tag via emails? It could end up a book ... for quiet reading in the library of the Home of the Unhinged. I'm not even going to start about the baby appearing on the bottle appropoopoo of nothing!

Be well and thank you on behalf of fairies everywhere!! Hugs, Darnell

Marji said...

Can't even imagine juicified fairies... The striding baby has really got my mystified. I think you should just give up all dish washing and leave it to Phantom and Sinus.. They certainly wouldn't want to put you through such trauma if they knew :)Only you can draw fairy juice, striding babies and those swirly thingies so beautifully - M.x

Heather Foust said...

You Crack Me Up!!!

Cindy D. said...

What monster would create such a thing! I am faintly traumatized (but very entertained). :D

Arnoldo L. Romero, MLA said...

You always make me smile with your beautiful work and your funny antics. Blessings, my friend!

Belinda Basson said...

I am always so pleased when I see your blog come to the top of my post list on my sidebar as it always makes me laugh. You have the best outlook on life.

Nic McLean said...

Ah Tracey you're in flying Fletcher King form in this post! ! I love it! You always manage to turn ordinary household items into little works of art! And as for liquidised fairies-you should write children's books as your imagination knows no bounds!

Laura Moore said...

Cor blimey your daughter not emptying the dishwasher had more than one adverse reaction on you obviously... lol. I will never look at a Fairy bottle in the same way again. Enjoy your week. Thanks for the laugh. :-)

Valerie-Jael said...

Fun post! Love the paintings, and I feel for those, poor bottled fairies! Valerie

WrightStuff said...

Come on, you should know by now - it's the vampires that juice the fairies!

What a lovely smile you put on my face this morning!

xx

Lorraine said...

beautiful art..trying to fix my washing machine at the moment..aghhh!

Gillena Cox said...

Luv the rant, good, let it all out you are among friends; the sketches are adorable; get used to the dishwasher though; have a nice weekend

Much love...

Gourdess said...

I had to ask the resident expert on this matter, Dot the Dish Fairy. Dot was horrified, h.o.r.r.i.f.i.e.d. I tell you, to know that this sort of thing happens in the land down under.

She's wasn't pleased that I found it a wee bit amusing. She snarked, "And you wonder why we dish fairies don't come around when you call." She flew off in a huff. No real loss there because despite her dish-pan dress, I don't think she ever washed a thing. Come to think of it, I bet she let the dogs lick the plates clean. I always wondered why she called them "Hot" & "Cold".

Diana Evans said...

I so miss stopping by!!! you always make me smile....lovely new art works Tracey!!! you have a very special style that I adore!!!!

denthe said...

Haha, liquidised fairies .. ;-) That baby got me mystified too. Maybe you could send this whole blogpost to the company who made it. I'm sure they've never thought of their dishwashing product that way ;-D

Aga Gasiniak said...

lovely and full of humor post and fantastic fairies illustrations!

http://agagasiniak.blogspot.co.uk/

Katherine Jeanne Wood said...

:)))))) I always love reading your stories, Tracey. Made me laugh.

Faye said...

What a morning brightener your post is! I think you may be saying goodbye to much of the accustomed help. Staying up to snuff while being a beginning university student is hard enough without having additional burdens such as unloading the dishwasher. I haven't seen this brand of dish detergent in our stores. Not sure I'd risk encouraging the squishing of fairies by buying it. Thanks for the fun post, Trace.

MeOfCourse said...

I really enjoyed this post. You always make me laugh, smile and wish that I had your bouncy ways. Love your art too.:)

Snap said...

Too funny! Love the post and your art.

oxox

Linda said...

this is hysterical Tracey!!! Your drawings and writing is just brilliant. I can always get a perfect vision of your stories although sometimes I'm ever so glad they're just in my head and I don't actually see them:) Have a fab weekend!

JKW said...

This is part of your book, right? Good Rant. The accompanying pictures are a wonderful addition to your story. Picture Book, possibly. Blessings, Janet PPF

Boo said...

I really think you need to write a book and illustrate it yourself. You have the most wonderful imagination. I can already see the twists and turns of the fairies. Maybe when they go down the drain they are reborn as fairies again.

Penny Stewart said...

Wonderful sense of humor, great drawings, and I love your page header!

froebelsternchen Susi said...

Oh my gosh... what sense of hunor... fantastic watercolor as always!

GORGEOUS!

Jo Murray said...

You've made my day!.....as you often do. It's set me off smiling to write to the PM, or someone, about the unconscionable treatment of fairies.

Christine said...

wow Phantom's 18 already? Best wishes to her at school. Nice art today too.

Twist of Pink said...

Your a "hoot" to read! Loved it but so sorry for all your trauma. :)

Abigail Davidson said...

Your imagination made this such an enjoyable post! And lovely illustration!

bellefrogworks said...

I so love the strange roads your mind travels - LOL! We have the pillows in the States but not Fairy soap. I think we have a no cruelty to fairies law on the books here. My husband's job is to unload the dishwasher and he has taken ownership of that - he doesn't like when I load it anymore and tells me to sit down - I've done enough! Love your sketches as well - you write a great storybook.

Carol said...

Your post made me "laugh out loud" and truly gave my day a great start... let me know when you're ready to lead a "Save the Fairies" protest :)

Tammie Dickerson said...

Yikes! The trauma of the fairies will likely stay with me all day! We do not have such a product in America! Your humor and wit is lively as ever - and your artwork is always wonderful! I, too, am concerned for the odd little baby.........something is definitely amiss here! Happy PPF!

Corrine at sparkledaysstudio.com said...

Whomever would put sweet fairies into an ugly bottle....and squishy awful squarish thingies....too funny....I do suspect like so many other's have said, it won't be the last time....xox

Sandra Busby said...

Face it, you have lost your slave! Bummer! I can't help wondering if all that Chemo might just have fried your brain cells to a point, hehe! Meanwhile, I tried those exact dishwasher tabs and they are yucky. They never fail to get stuck together in the bag - most annoying! That said, you have made them look fabulous of course... Only you could make blended fairys look wonderful!