Fantasy vs Reality ...

By the time you read this I will be in getting yet more tattoos for radiotherapy

third trip people

I am starting to look like a human dot to dot

I will spare you the details but I like to think that it is just that they enjoy my dismounts so much 

that they keep calling me back to experience the wonder of them

of course that is me living firmly in fantasy land

but that did get me thinking about all the fantasy vs reality situations

of the whole breast cancer crap and it is quite the list it turns out ...

I had this fantasy that I would look all bad ass and Demi Moore cool as a baldy

the reality is much closer to buddha with glasses... not even vaguely cool

fantasy...getting bitten by a mosquito while full of chemo would lead to them being poisoned by the stuff and dying a horrid and painful death

reality...they suck it up like nectar and become bloody mutant super mozzie

fantasy...I will lounge in bed and my dutiful daughter Phantom Steve read to me from my favourite books

reality... she had me as a captive audience for endless YouTube videos featuring Mamrie Hart, Grace Helbig and Hannah Hart ... though admittedly once you get past the language and some of the wildly inappropriate content ...they are hilarious

fantasy... that the dog licking my bald head is because he wants to comfort me

reality... he also licks cushions, carpet and his boy bits so maybe not sure about that one

fantasy... that I will wake up from a lovely slumber to the sound of gentle birdsong

reality... I wake to the sounds of Phants trying to get the dog to sit on a whoopee cushion

though for the record reality was pretty darn funny in this case

the look on his face when she achieved it was priceless

sleep fantasy number 2...  that I will wake to find a hot cup of tea and a selection of chocolates on the bed side table waiting for me

reality... I wake to mad giggling and find that Phantom and Sinus Man have drawn eyebrows on me/made bows out of washy tape and stuck them to my head/have hidden the remotes... you get the idea... it has been a long 24 weeks of chemo

and I still find myself a few days after my last dose waking up with a racing heart at the thought of what fresh joke hell they have inflicted on me ...

fantasy... that Phants will want me to impart all my wisdom while she sits dutifully by my side

reality... she just wants me to keep messing up her seven sided rubik's cube thingy so she can get her solve time down ...

while acting as my editor Phants became incensed at the inaccuracies of this one and demanded a clarification... it is a seven layered v cube... technically a seven by seven by seven... yep she whooppee cushions the dog but I am in trouble for rubik's inaccuracies!!!!

fantasy... that having no eyebrows would mean I now have a great poker face and after whipping Sinus a few times I will be ready for the pro poker circuit and will make my fortune

reality... the sum total of my poker knowledge comes down to being mildly familiar with a Kenny Rodgers song and Sinus knows even less,  so I am thinking this one may be quite the reach to take from fantasy to reality...

fantasy... that I would have time to do all the Soul Food Lessons

reality... the only one I have attempted is the one by Gwen Seemel

mind you I loved it... all those coloured pens and messy lines... right up my alley

and in keeping with the whole fantasy/ reality theme I thought I would get in and transform some of my "normal"drawings into her fabulous coloured fantasy versions

and while I still love my normal versions, those coloured ones are kind of addictive

I also tried some inchies for the first time

which is all sorts of fun... challenging because I am half blind and have rather dodgy motor skills but I do wish I had thought to try them earlier

I was inspired by Diane Scott 

and they would have been perfect while I was stuck doing bugger all for so long...

of course now I am up and about I am sure they will be as much fun in the studio

happy painting everyone...xx

Wild Burrito Ninja Tatt Girl....

The countdown is on people

only ten days or so and I will be through to the end of the whole chemo journey

seriously can't wait because it has been kind of kicking my butt up one side of the street

and down the other these last few weeks

but the end is in sight so who bloody cares right.... 

I certainly don't because I got to paint a little this week

which always makes the crappy bits easier to deal with

plus I finally became like the cool kids and got myself five tattoos...

Okay so they aren't cool tattoos

in fact I'm not a huge fan of the tat so I'm not sure there is such a thing..

and in fact unless you knew where to look you would just think I had some suspect black freckles... but I am claiming those babies...

why... because I went through quite a bit to get em that's why

turns out radiation planning is just one more embarrassing experience to add 

to the list which involves a whole lot of people in a room playing with what is left of poor lefty

dear god I swear there are only a handful of people left in the hospital who haven't prodded, poked, cut into, squished and now drawn on and tatted up that sucker

The whole process was quite the experience

walk into a room filled with people

get yourself topless self onto a table thingy attached to a CT scan

without flashing the world and rolling off the other side like a burrito

flop old lefty into a hole in the table / bed thingy

and proceed to lie there while they basically squish, prod, measure, draw on, scan and tattoo the bejeezus out of you

not too bad in the scheme of things I suppose

but then comes the fun part

you have to dismount this contraption

and you have been lying in one position for 45 mins and everything has gone to sleep

I did achieve it, though with very little of my dignity intact

and I was awarded some points for attempting a rather exciting dismount technique

the technician gave me a 6.5 for my wild half pike with a twist in a reverse position

which I thought was a touch harsh as I am not coordinated at the best of times

and doing the whole thing topless with various limbs still numb

was quite the achievement in my book... 

those technicians are so jaded I tell you

or maybe people just do really impressive dismounts... who knows...

 but I impressed myself by sticking the landing like a gymnast

actually better than a gymnast because I didn't do one of those ridiculous back arching things

I was like a ninja

Phantom Steve decided we should celebrate my induction into the tattoo club with something more appropriate than the paltry five dots that I have

and so she gave me this baby on the inside of my arm...

seriously perfect isn't it

and from now on I would like to be referred to by this title...

and with that Wild Burrito Ninja wishes you all a happy painting weekend...xx

The New Year's Desk ....

Hugest Happy New Year Wishes to all and sundry

it has been quite a ride the last few weeks 

and my brain is running in fifty million directions at once

so before I get distracted

I want to open with the biggest thank you in the world to all of you

who made my Christmas so special after the crazy generosity of the Tea Party

over at Paint Party Friday, hosted by the uber cool Kristin and Eva

a sincere heartfelt thanks to all who managed to reduce me to floods of tears

at your fabulous art works, amazing words and support

there is no way I can express how much it gave me a lift

It still reduces me to sniffles just thinking about it all... you all rock ... big time

and on the back of that  I have cruised into the New Year

on a wave of sugar, eggnog, endless bloody leftovers

and the smell of a new sketchbook and pens...

There is something about the smell of art supplies

it is like catnip to my brain and sends it spinning and zinging in all sorts of directions

a new sketchbook means all those glorious pages waiting to be filled

that moment of complete delicious terror of the first page

and not wanting to put the pox on the whole book with a crap sketch

it is the creak of the uncracked spine

it is the smooth coolness of the paper under your fingers

the feel of the scratch of the pen on the paper as you lay down those first lines

the frizzing in your brain when a bit of colour is added

then those squiggley lines that make you sigh and know all is right in the world

there is nothing quite like it is there

I had decided to draw and sketch a lot more this year

sort of a resolution... not really ... but kind of ... so I can sneak up on it

because I am spectacularly bad at resolutions, and in fact the whole drawing every day 

had been watered back already to draw lots... lasted almost as long as I did last year

but I feel like I have a better excuse than last year for not sticking with a resolution

and that is that ideas are bursting forth too quick for me to get them down on paper

and Christmas was filled with all sorts of wonderful inspiring bits and bobs

which means my brain really does resemble a computer with a million browser pages open

or perhaps it resembles Sinus man in control of the remote for the tv and flicking through fifty squillion channels at warp speed ... seriously why do men do that???? 

all these things to draw and paint

and ideas flowing is a fabulous way to start the year

better too many ideas than not enough

and everything is fodder for my pen and paper

even packaging from burgers... cause how cool is this drawing... 

seriously... and I need to practice hands... not sure what it will turn into but a fun starting point

So as I sit at the computer this is the sight that is looking at me

tempting me to stop typing and get drawing

how can I resist the siren call of a full desk...

we all know I can't even spell willpower so I am going to give in and get back to it

happy painting all...xx

linking to Paint Party Friday ... xx