Friday, 9 November 2012

The Many Perils Of Rice Bread....


I am having to post a sketch from my sketch book today
for day 9 of Art Every Day Month
because I am resting my hand up from a somewhat nasty rice bread injury
maybe nasty is a bit of an exageration but annoying none the less
yes people this is the culprit right here
dangerous stuff this, delicious, but dangerous ...


You may remember earlier this year I was boasting about my porridge mastery
anyway ... as Summer approaches porridge is just not suitable
no matter how fluffy and perfect I make it
and because Phantom Steve is a coeliac
we only have rice bread in the house
which means every single morning
I take my life in my hands and risk life and limb just to toast the stuff
and get my Vegemite fix

I  starts at 5.30 am... yes 5.30 am ... don't ask
when I drag it from the freezer and try to lever a few pieces from the loaf
it inevitably breaks off into a clump of three or four pieces
and then I have to use a knife wedged in between the pieces to try to jemmy them apart
now I am not coordinated at the best of times
and at 5.30 this takes on scary proportions
made worse by the fact that the bread shows odd suction type tendencies
and you need to put your whole weight into it to get it to release
which means that every single day I scrape my knuckles when it suddenly gives
and explodes across the kitchen bench
necessitating a very unladylike lunge and curse while sucking on my poor scraped knuckles

But the problems don't stop there
oh no this stuff goes in the toaster and holds heat better than any substance known to man
slap a bit of this on the side of an igloo and you would have an instant window
and it requires several toastings, and it curls as it cooks
so you have to get it out of the toaster and sort of flatten it out between goes
all while getting third degree burns on the previously scraped hands

To top it off it needs two and a bit goes in our toaster
and while it does make this cool hissing noise
so it makes it like toasting a snake... which is very satisfying
you have to keep an eagle eye on it
as it goes from barely toasted to flaming... literally on flames.... in two seconds flat
so I have to get in close and hit the button at just the right moment


Our toaster is a tad temperamental so sometimes it barely pops
and you again burn those poor scraped knuckled hands getting it out of the toaster
and on other days those molten bits of toast
launch out of there like they are being sent into space
necessitating me to try to catch the stupid things
and brings the burning of the hands, tripping over the dog, and taking an eye out into play
the multitudinous perils make breakfast an adventure if nothing else

I now sit here with scraped knuckles and singed off fingerprints
built up from a week of totally delicious Vegemite toast
so I am being gentle with them for the rest of the day
I read somewhere that chocolate may indeed help them to heal faster
worth a try I think ...xx

And if you have time
head over to Paint Party Friday where I will be the featured artist this week
big shout out to Kristin and Eva for hosting this great get together every week ...xx
But wait there is more...
not a set of steak knives but my last few post links are here as well...


70 comments:

Laurie said...

thats one whole lot of work for a piece of toast!!!
On another note, you sketch hands so well!!! Beautiful work!!
Best of luck with the toast, you may need full body armor for protection , dangerous toast making!

Lorinda @ Everyday Endeavours said...

Perhaps you better stick to eggs for breakfast. I'd suggest a smoothie but those blenders can be dangerous too! ;-)

Kat Sloma said...

Love your story and painting. And all for vegemite toast. Eeewwww! I tasted it once. Must be an acquired taste. :) Loved your PPF interview!

Gloria said...

What ever works for you Tracey. At least we get a great story and creative artwork from it. Great interview! Awesome work as always. Thanks and Happy PPF!

JKW said...

You always make me hungry or thirsty, or want to go out and buy more kitchen accessories. Love the paintings. Blessings, Janet PPF

Jennifer McLean said...

ya, keep that thought about the chocolate. We should write to someone about it's heat sealing properties, maybe NASA can use that somhow...

Makes GOOOOD toast though. What we do to prevent the superglue stickum of the frozen slices of bread is to repackage the bread into two or four piece ziplocks. This way you're not dealing with a whole frozen block. It actually works great and is in single serving bags. :o)
Hugs,
Jenn

Helen Campbell said...

Oh my goodness, you have me laughing and laughing which seems heartless in the face of your scraped knuckles and burnt off finger prints. teehee!

Congrats, fabulous lady, on being the featured artist on PPF! You totally rock, as does your art!

denthe said...

Lovely to read your story in featured artist. I didn't know you were from the Brisbane area, I only realized it when I read about the Collective Store. I'm heading there next week with some of my stuff ...
That bread sounds ... eh... yummy ... I think ... ☺

Catherine Constance said...

Lol...loved the interview. Breakfast sounds as scary as in mine. I have a temperamental toaster too. We can send a robot to Mars but we can't make a toaster that lasts longer than a couple of months, that doesn't burn your toast on minutest of settings and why does the bread always stick to the sides...have toaster makers not heard of Teflon...x

Lynn Cohen said...

I totally enjoyed both your interview responses and your rice toasted knuckles adventures! Yes, rub chocolate on said knuckles and then lick it off with warm moist tongue. Totally healing!
Oh, btw, I also love your art, but then I am being redundant week in and week out!
Good luck with your book. Are you self publishing by any chance? If so I would like to pick your brain if possible.
HPPF!

Ayala Art said...

You crack me up!! Had me laughing at the whole thing XoD
Yes, go for the chocolate!
And before I forget: love the illustrations!

Pointy Pix said...

never heard of rice bread but I'm intrigued. S just discovered rice noodles recently which are a delightful revelation as I did miss the noodles from the Chinese but as they're egg, I can't eat them anymore. I love how you take the most mundane of acts and turn it into a prose of slapstick proportions - too funny! Loved your interview too!

Anns Art said...

Really like your Interview on Paint Party Friday Tracey, you have certainly found your own unique style with your drawing, love it.

Jez said...

As always, you give me enough smiles to last me all day. Has anyone yet invented 'toaster gloves' like oven gloves but smaller?

Em said...

The things we do for toast! I must admit that I am not a Vegimite fan either, although I had some on hand for years due to lots of British friends. (They've all abandoned us and gone back to Britain.)

Are you happy for summer? I'd love to hear more about what seasons are like where you are. So interesting & fun to know. (It rained in Los Angeles today. Not hard enough to clean off the car, though!)

Sue J said...

In addition to Jenn's suggestion of a few slices in a plastic bag, try a bit of that freezer go-between stuff between the slices, then they won't stick together. It might take all the excitement out of your mornings though. And get them out the night before (I know, from experience, it's not easy to remember) and let them thaw overnight in the fridge. You could have a lie-in then. You won't know what to do with yourself! You could use the griller instead of the toaster, too.

Clare said...

I always get such a thrill when I visit your blog. Love, love your sketches.
http://mummaclare.blogspot.com.au/

Anne Manda said...

Wow, that's some hazardous toasting! I eat overnight oats or smoothies for breakfast in summer, but yes, the havoc and mayhem one can create with blender boggles the mind...

Carolyn Dube said...

The rugged and dangerous adventure of rice bread and a toaster-the things you do for your kid! Hope she appreciates it! Happy PPF!

Victoria said...

Hi Tracey..just read your fabulous interview..shine on..you are fantastic..i look forward to your new zine! Wonderful post..gorgeous art..always a pleasure to visit your enchanted world!

froebelsternchen Susi said...

fantastic interview Tracy! I am glad to know your blog!
Happy PPF!

bethania said...

Tracey, lot's of laughs here, with the whole crohnicle. Your written style is delicious, and do is the drawing style. I am addicted by now!

Gwen Buchanan said...

Absolutely fun read.. great art too!!!

Jessica Sporn said...

Oh Tracey - there has to be a better way!! Is it possible to separate the slices before they go into the freezer? Your hands are precious - they create beautiful art - take care of them please for the sake of all your admirers!! So happy to see you featured at PPF this week. Happy PPF!

ArtMuseDog and Carol said...

Wonderful interview on PPF and lovely art as usual ~ things we do for those we love ~huh? ~ Love your witty humor ~ have a great weekend ~ (A Creative Harbor) ^_^

ps. had similar experience with cookie bars that stuck to baking pan while making them for coffee house fund raiser ~ 'No good deed goes unpunished.' LOL

Molly said...

it's like an indiana jones epic in your kitchen every morning, i love it!

WrightStuff said...

Ever thought about separating the bread slices before they go in the freezer? Tee Hee. I'm just like you though... who wants to do anything sensible like that?

Of course, Vegemite is Marmite's poor relation... you wait til you try the 'real' thing!!

Judy Hartman said...

I'm sorry about your rice bread injuries, but I'm laughing out loud at your description! It's not enough that you're a super artist, but also great at writing and humor! :) Really enjoyed this!
xxx

Susan said...

Great interview! You always dredge something up from my memory archive and today it is the "tempermental toaster." We had one that sprung the toast out on the floor if we let it go on it's own. Love your post and delightful artwork. Happy PPF

Nigel Roberts said...

OK, I can sort of vaguely understand the need for toast in the morning, but who in their right mind goes to that much trouble for vegemite? Could you not just go and spread some melted tarmac on it - it would probably taste better.

Bleubeard and Elizabeth said...

You are TOO funny!

Faye said...

Tracey, I am so glad you are the featured artist this week. After a tormenting election and campaign I really need something to smile about and you have provided it. As always, I love your drawings and painting. The hands are beautifully drawn. Congratulations! You have treated us all to a great start for our day here in the USA.

Julie said...

yes chocolate will help! I love your sketch of the bread. Congrats on the feature, it was great learning more about you.

Denice {inkstitch} said...

So happy to see you featured over at PPF! I don't comment often, but I love checking in on what you're doing. As always, I am so inspired by both your lines and color. Have a lovely weekend! xo

Rhonda said...

Seems like too much trouble just for some breakfast. Loving your sketches as always!

Christine said...

Lovely painting and I enjoyed your PPF interview! Now there must be an easier way to get at this bread! Maybe freeze in ziplocs of 2?

Netty said...

LOL great interview and blog piece, thank goodness we don't have rice bread as our pop up toaster pops it right up into the air and if we are lucky it pops onto the plate.....
Loving your newest work. Your beautiful print arrived today and am thrilled to bits with it. Thank you so much Tracey. Happy PPF, Annette x

Sinderella Studio Designs said...

cracking me up as usual! loved your ppf interview!

cheers, dana

Hwee said...

I enjoyed reading your interview at PPF today. Even though we eat rice very often, I'm not sure about other foodstuff made out of rice. Perhaps we're too used to the taste of wheat?!

Mary C. Nasser said...

So glad you were the featured artist for Paint Party Friday this week!
You know I am a huge fan of your work, Tracey!
♥♥♥
Happy PPF!!
Mary
Mixed-Media Map Art

Marji {RainCityGirl} said...

I was so excited when I went to the PPF site and saw you were the featured artist. I loved reading more about you and your art. Today's blog post really struck my fancy - I haven't tried rice bread, but I too keep the breads in the freezer. I can totally relate to scraped knuckles and using a knife as a pry wedge. Happy PPF!

Terrie Purkey said...

Seriously?! You go through this every morning? What a glutton for punishment! I saw several practical solutions in the earlier comments - I think I would start with a new toaster....it seems ours are only good for a couple years. They still work, but when they don't toast in a single push anymore, they're outta here! I'm all about the convenience, not the effort - especially first thing in the morning! Luckily your tea isn't so labor intensive to make....

Michellem said...

You are a strong, brave woman not only for what you go through for a bit of breakfast but for the fact that you are willing to share your injuries with your adoring public! Great to see you featured at PPF today!!

Viola said...

Congrats to you beeing the featured artist this week! I must say it was interesting to read about you, and you also had fun things to say that made me smile.. :))
You are an educated artist, I would love to learn drawing the way you draw, so I hope you'll start to teach.. one day..
But first - I have to go on and paint and paint.. I'm a beginner..

Yummy sandwiches and lovely drawings! :)

Alicia C said...

Loved reading the intervire this week! Too much fun... fun re rice bread Lol reminds me of some failed vegan baking attempts of my past

carlarey said...

Good Lord, I can't imagine the food that would be so good I would go through that amount of torture. No, that's not true, I'd walk through fire for nearly anything topped with Nutella.

Great paintings, and it was terrific to read your interview this week.

Sharon Evans said...

Love your interview and learn more about you. Toasters are things with a mind of their own, mine loves to shoot the toast across the room.

kimmie said...

Your stories always make me chuckle :)
Vegemite? I think I'll stick to peanut butter :)

Denise Mulligan said...

Heehee! Sharon's toaster would be the absolute bomb in our house. Where do I get one of those?

Great Interview on PPF. Glad you didn't go into too much history cause I have the attention span of a baby squirrel. ;)

But, whoa there missy! You can't just breeze by "I opened an art school" thing and that's it. You left us all with a big cliff hanger. That's quite an accomplishment. I want to hear more please.

I do hope you get to that zine,make a cuppa, I'll wait.

Serena Lewis said...

I hear ya on the temperamental toaster...I had a nice one that worked SO well and then, my darling son decided to buy me a new four slice toaster for Christmas last year. A lovely thing to do BUT the expensive toaster he got me is crap! As with your toaster, it never goes by the setting for light or dark so it's anybody's guess as to how well done it will be when it pops up...it also toasts one half of the same side more than the other half. It's so frustrating!

I've never tried rice bread but it sounds even worse than trying to pry frozen white or wholemeal bread apart. I love vegemite on crackers but not a fan of it on bread/toast.

LOVE your sketches/art so DO be careful with those hands, girl. xo

helloitssandra.blogspot.com said...

Love your story about the toast and sketches of the bread and Toby oats. Toby oats which are my favorite, I love them and have to have my fix every day whatever the weather!!

NatashaMay said...

Hmm. You might consider changing your bread. :)) I don't think it's suppose to cling together like that. I can only get a smoothie down me in the morning. Toast is not my thing. Awesome illustrations and congrats for the PPF feature!

Gina Sismilich said...

I laughed really hard at the "battle" you have each morning just to get a piece of toast. Sounds like you should lose weight just trying to make breakfast

Giggles said...

Omg Been there done that!!That play by play of the toast in clumps from the freezer was me for years!! Now beardo makes cupcakes breakfast and she has switched to oatmeal...lol I have a toaster oven that is the exact same and takes forever and then...burns...lol Great illustrations and loved your interview at ppf!!I still need to read your blue moose post, sorry I'm behind...

You are so awesome!! I hope you write a book one day!!

Aloe vera on the burns....but you probably already know that!!

Hugs Giggles

missy k said...

Oh... I feel exhausted just reading about your exploits at 5.30am in the morning!!!

Loved your interview btw

Karenx

Kathryn - Collage Diva said...

You really are a riot. I haven't enjoyed vegemite in ages. It isn't so popular here in the states but I can find it in the large markets.

Joni Nickrent said...

CONGRATS on your well deserved feature over at PPT! LOVE YOUR WORK! Always amazing!

Jennifer said...

Beautiful work, refreshing. I like the tea mug.

Meihsia Liu said...

Love all your fabulous sketches at Paint Party Friday. Thank you for sharing... :)

lorik said...

Vegemite on toast! Yum! But it has to be done jussst right:) i used to have it for breakfast every day...for years and years. Now I eat oats and fruit. But now that you have reminded me.....
Great art here.. entertaining post.

Bev said...

Wow what a journey for breakie lol but being an aussie can see its worth it for some vege toast lol but wholemeal for me lol

hugz bev

Colleayn said...

The joys of Rice Bread! It is amazing how one heavy loaf of bread can cause such great problems. I'm going to post an almond bread this week on When Artists Cook that tastes really good. It doesn't raise that much, but has good flavor.

Terri Morse said...

You make everyday objects into things of beauty! I love your work. I just signed up to subscribe to your blog. -Terri

Linda Brightwingsofsummer said...

missed this one so a few days late ... hehe but worth the wait! Hilarious as usual! (umm, might Prudence suggest you slip a bit of freezer paper between the slices, before freezing? - not as entertaining though!)

Diana Evans said...

oh wow!!! you are one dedicated rice bread toaster....wonderful art my friend!!!

Cathy Bueti said...

Oh my Tracey!! I think i would have given up on the bread ! lol Your art is lovely as always!! congrats on being a featured artist! Happy PPF!

:)

Kristin said...

Yay! So happy to see you at PPF this week! Love you as always - and LOVE the PPF tea tag - clever you! xoxo

Rita said...

Never tasted Vegemite, but chocolate....mmmmm! Maybe you need one of those toaster ovens so the bread can lie flat and you could turn those hot suckers over with a spatula! LOL! :)

Rita said...

Oh, and wonderful interview, BTW!!!

Gloria said...

Well at least the toast really looks delicious...I wish I had some cinnamon sugar with butter toast! You lead a very exciting life!