Sunday, 23 September 2012

Why School Holidays Do My Head In....

This sketch is the only thing I have looked like completing since Spring break started
which is only one day ago
it feels longer though
because, while I love my daughter and husband dearly
having them both home is not that conducive to good work habits
and I despair of how I will survive the next few weeks
I am not being overly dramatic or mean .... honestly
here is a run down of my first day of the break

Phantom is brilliantly stupid
she has a magnificent brain but is somewhat patchy on the common sense skills
I was just starting to work when she called out
that she needed a scooper thing for the pool to catch the little lobster thing
lobster thing??? all I could think was how did a prawn get in the pool? 
did it have wings.... ooo maybe we can sell it on ebay???
so I duly send Sinus out with scooper... 
which required him to brave the spider infested shed
to have him take a look at the lobster thing
not a lobster it turns out
or a prawn with wings
it is, in fact,  a grasshopper
now Phantom has academic achievements and awards spilling out her ears
but it seems she doesn't know the difference between a grasshopper and a crustacean
Sinus dropped the scooper in disgust and left the poor dead thing in its icy grave
We duly taunted and teased her and retreated back to our various activities

next I hear a splash from the pool 
and spy her sitting on the edge freezing her toes off
now I know it is getting warm 
but Sinus had to brush small ice bergs out of the way to get to the lobster/ grasshopper
but she is in swimmers braving the pool
so like the good, supportive and nurturing parent that I am
I bet her $50 that she won't get in
not up to her knees in, but up to her shoulders in
keep in mind, the lobster/ grasshopper has sunk back to the bottom of the pool
and she hates bugs and critters
and she usually wraps herself in a blanket
after eating a bowl of ice cream in the middle of Summer
so I am figuring it is a safe bet
 but no...the little bugger did it...
up to her armpits
her skin was red raw and she was having trouble breathing
but I had to take the $50 out and put it in her badly shaking hand

the day pretty much got weirder from there in

there was the pouring out of a perfectly good drink when I was at the sink
because Sinus put his finger in it
still haven't got to the bottom of why he put his finger in her drink
but when asked if this was the case, he fessed up to it
don't think I want to know

plus the long conversation about the cut of chicken called a Maryland
not Merry Lambs as Phantom had previously thought
turns out she had been puzzled by this for some time
which bought up the fact that she thought it was a Ham Bag
so we stuff our car keys and wallets sundry items in a container of cured meat???
and this was until recently.... seriously
she was happy that both things made much more sense now
and duly declared the problem with English 
is that people don't pronounce their consonants properly

we were also tortured by endless rounds of Mario cart, Wii archery
and a scary, almost physical game of Wii bowling
that almost resulted in Sinus and Phantom braining each other
all of which was completed to a soundtrack of bad seventies and eighties Karaoke
because the people who live behind us were having a big party 
and had the music cranked to an ungodly volume
so the whole neighbourhood could enjoy their out of tune, drunken singing
all night.... yahoo for us

so it is a miracle I am functioning at all today
and found the brain power to sit and do some sketches
from a magazine I was reading while drinking my breakfast smoothie
I was going to so some painting
but I have again been called to break up round two of the Wii war
 that has erupted between my two beloveds
I sent the dog to adjudicate but Sinus thought he is favouring Phantom
and it seems my peace negotiation skills are required
Day 2 is shaping up to be not unlike Day 1
wish me luck....xx

linking up with Sunday Sketches

My last two posts can be found with these links
if the holidays continue like this they may be the last time I make sense
or get any work done...


Michellem said...

"Ham Bag" - har har!!!!
Seriously my very talkative son once stayed quiet on a road trip for 4 hours cause my mom said she'd give him $5 if he'd pipe down for the rest of the ride. I said - "I'll give you $20 if you can keep quiet." - knowing full well that he can't keep quiet for more than about 30 seconds normally. Kids just LOVE to prove us wrong don't they?
Enjoy your spring break - if you keep writing posts like this one I know I sure will enjoy your break!!

Jennifer McLean said...

Ok, I have one for ya, until my mid teens I thought turkeys were male chickens, chickens were the girls and turkeys were the boys and roosters.... well, he was an unfortunate neutered, umm. something. lol. I wasn't quite clear on that!

The things teens think would make anyone laugh. lol. We still laugh about my little chicken/turkey mix up on thanksgiving when I notoriously call the bird a chicken, silly Jenn.
Waving from Cold Canada

Unknown said...

Haha!!! Sounds like you are having a GREAT time;))) good luck with those Wii wars :D and trying to get some work done ))

Hwee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
VonnyK said...

I would have thought that after all this time you would know to never bet a child to do anything for a large amount of cash. You will never win. I commiserate with you re holidays. I had to pick myself up off the ground today after flying over the handle bars of a powerwing skateboardy thing, yes I know I'm not young anymore and should act my age but you have to keep the little blighters busy!! Hope you manage to keep your sanity over the next two weeks.

Hwee said...

Aren't children (even older ones) just a great source of inspiration?! How would you otherwise have known that grasshoppers might have been classified as crustaceans, and that women use 'ham bags'? Absolutely brilliant! :-)

Zue said...

Such a funny story. It must be like living in a comedy show at your house...would make an excellent TV script.
Don't let your creativity dry up. But if it does you will know it is only for the school break.
Happy creations to you Tracey!

K J D said...

I think you are going to keep us very entertained during your 'holidays'

I just got nicely ushered into the kitchen by my 23 old!!! to make him some flapjacks!!!!


oops nearly forgot ... neat sketch!

bellefrogworks said...

It seems you may not get a lot of work done - but you are getting a lot of material for blog posts - I love the "lobster grasshopper" and the Ham bag is a winner. In 5th grade I was writing a report on the Mormon Sect - but I didn't understand the word and titled my report - Mormon Sex! Those tricky consonants!

Terrie said...

Hilarious! Hope you survive break ....but usually energy is higher at the beginning so hopefully they'll get bored and turn into vegetables sooner rather than later. :) And offer $50 for anything?! Were you nuts - I'd even get in freezing water for that! Our big bet amount was $5 at the most and I still got takers almost every time.

Loved your last post too about the Christmas cards - even called hubby in to read it to him....we both got a chuckle.

Currie Silver said...

I am so grateful for your stories... Sometimes I fall into a funk about my solitary existence, save for Gracie... It puts all in perspective!!!

I agree, you need to mine this stuff. I see some amazing illustrations and a somewhat tilted picture book for kids [of all ages!!] in your immediate grasp!!

Introverted Art said...

yummy, yummy sketch!!!

Lorinda.C.F said...

Tracey, your life just cracks me up. You really are the best sport. I would have drown them all among the icebergs by noon. Looking forward to this illustrated book everyone is talking about above ;-)

Ginny said...

It always sounds like so much fun at your house. Enjoy all of those special spring break moments. I still relive those moments over and over again. They were great!

Alexandra MacVean said...

I can sympathize in ways. I have all these sketches started but no time to get them finished. Grrr. :)

Tammie Lee said...

the way you perceive life is just so fun and wonderful!

i am cooking three artichokes as i write this...

SandeeNC said...

LMAO, ahhhh so waging wars and gambling are running amok in your household, sounds like the "children" are a handful ( and yes, was including hubby as one of the kids ) need to don a black and white referee uniform to wear and a whistle, a loud shard ear piercing whistle! lol waving hi from the hills of North Carolina :)

Fallingladies said...

I love hearing about your family, wish mine weren't so into their privacy, but it sounds like you may not be giving them the choice of keeping their secrets secret... Wish i was that daring!... And yes, good luck!

Molly said...

I read this last night and am still laughing out loud at the lobster/grasshopper!

Serena Lewis said...

Merry Lambs...LOL My son has a hearing impairment so I guess he can be excused a WEE bit but one time I asked him what he'd like to order from the fish & chips shop to which he replied, "Scabs in batter". For the longest time, he'd been under the impression that's what we were saying when we'd order, "Savs in batter". LOL

I so understand how family distractions can take us away from our art....seems to happen a lot around here.

I agree with should know better than to bet $50 to a teen! ;)

Love how your sketch is coming along!

Enjoy the rest of the school break. OH, the joys of parenthood ~ xo

Christine said...

lovely sketch anyway! Funny about the grasshopper! Enjoy your company these few weeks!

Arnoldo L. Romero, MLA said...

LOL! It's good to know that I'm not the only one that has insane days or even a week like the one you described. You did manage to put in some good sketches. Blessings!

Lisa Graham said... are one funny lady...this was a great post and I am lovin the grasshopper/lobster mix up! Haha!! Your drawings are the tea in the jar glass with the mint and straw!!

Debbie said...

lol, such a funny post today! I will be laughing for a long time over the grasshopper/crustacean in the pool! Your blogs are so funny, but I can also imagine how frustrating it is to want to sketch and paint, and not be able to. I enjoyed your sketch here and also the previous post, about the christmas cards! I hope you enjoy the rest of your spring holiday!

Bev said...

There is something wrong here , my 2 girls are grown and gone and im divorced and u have me missing the bloody crazyness , oh well savour these days they go too quickly ..ok back to my peace and quite and naughty furbabies lol

hugz bev said...

At least you cant say it dull living at your house:) One day you will look back and laugh at all these treasured moments :))
Good luck with getting some art done...I am in the same boat!

Liz Powley said...

So this is what I have to look forward to? My first thought was...mine are home all the time and I never escape them except to go to work and well, that's work, but then they are little and the interruptions they give me are usually whines, yelling, screaming, thumping, the occasional self induced injury that requires Mummy's hugging and kissing and generally, are you kidding Mum, you think you can just waltz off and trust us not to kill ourselves, the house, and the neighbourhood? Uh, no.

But now I'm discovering that while they get bigger, they just get louder? They can dress themselves, feed themselves, otherwise occupy themselves, but Mummy is still required at inopportune times like when on the phone, trying to art, write or otherwise be productive. Please tell me they at least help a little with the housework, cos I have some vain hopes for my future :D

Kids...gotta love 'em, gotta hug 'em, well that's because we're Mum.

Add an extra few grey hairs to the mix I guess.

Nice sketch, though ::grin:: Good luck with the rest of the hollies :D



Joanne Osband said...

Thanks, I enjoyed a good laugh! Remember, this too shall pass.....

The beets are fabulous! I love the composition and colors.

PiaRom said...

your great scetches inspires me always to try it out more often ;)

Sandra Busby said...

Well I would just LOVE to be a fly on your wall! It sounds like my house, which is also completely mad!
What a great idea to sketch from a magazine - I hadn't thought of that! :0)

stefanie stark said...

I think you should absolutely publish a book from your blog posts. I would take it to bed in the evening and also read it in the morning first thing with my first coffee as nothing else I ever read before is such a practical, realistic and humorrously preparation for real life and I would put all these intelligent psychology self-help books into the bin.
Furthermore each bridal couple should receive one of Tracey's editions to be prepared for the future.
At least, your funny painting corresponds exactly to what you are currently learning the hard way and I'm looking forward to the continuation.

cjsrq said...

Your post brought back memories of when I was a kid and thought a suitcase was a "soup case" (couldn't figure out why anyone would want to carry around all that soup) and permanent teeth were called that because the ridged tops looked like a "permanent wave" (I suffered through a lot of Toni home perms which obviously affected my brain). Phantom's HamBag and MerryLambs are too funny! Perhaps you should start a dictionary of misheard words! Thanks for all the laughs and inspiration.

carol l mckenna said...

Lovely creations as always ~ Keep up those boundaries for time for self ~ wishing you a wonderful and creative week ~ (A Creative Harbor)

Unknown said...

I'm with Phantom...pronounce those vowels and consonants correctly...fancy going through life thinking that prawns are grasshoppers and that we have hams at the end of our armies...could it be that she is spending far too much time with a wii.
Love the sketches...xx

Unknown said...

You are always so super entertaining and fun Tracey!!!! and talented!!!!

kristin maynes said...

Great sketch! I love using magazines or books for my inspiration. I know what you mean about having family home, makes it hard to get anything done...mostly, because I want to hang with my kids and hubby. Good luck!

Lisabella Russo said...

Oh dear! I love your artichoke sketch. I can so relate to having difficulty getting work done when there are additional people over! You have a wonderful attitude, I love being regaled by your stories :).

Unknown said...

Hamburg! Too funny- it reminds me of when my youngest was about five and this song came on the radio; "Jesus is just all right with with me...." and he listens for a bit, and shouts out, "Cheese Sauce! Why would anyone sing about cheese sauce"
I love all the veggies you've been doing lately, especially the beets!

GalleryJuana said...

I remember how I'd sketch from magazine prompts when I was with Mom at the hospital. It's a great way to keep the art brain warm. And now I'm craving artichokes!

And I love the nicknames you have for your family:)

Giggles said...

Oh dear this shall be a long season for you!! I too love family around...but love love love alone time! No matter how much day I have to myself.... some how it is always interrupted by an idea that is NOT my own!!

I wonder how many artists truly love long bouts of alone time with no it's high!!

Always a joy to visit, I do love artichokes...your illustration is wonderful...

Cupcake would be the same about the finger in the drink thing....and so would my brother who will give a drink away before he drinks it after someone else outside of his wife!!

Happy hump day!
Hugs Giggles

Rita said...

I hate those loud parties into the late night hours. They say everyone has a price. I guess you found out what Phoebe's is--LOL! But they don't seem to be able to play nice! I think I will have to start calling you Miss T Referee. ;)