Jet Puff Phantizzle ...

My daughter Phantom has always been a bit of an odd eater

there was the only eat white things stage

followed by the won't eat anything white stage

the capsicums at every meal stage

the no meat stage

various ethnic stages

the infamous popcorn week

and the only eat one food at a time stage

actually still in that one... she can't have more than one food on her fork at any one time

which makes watching her eat things like stir fry more fun than you can imagine

if she has been particularly annoying I take great pleasure in a nice fine shred

lets see her separate those suckers

it always looks like her head is going to explode by the end of it... hilarious!

So after declaring this holiday was all about cooking and eating Lebanese food

we headed off to the deli to get supplies

now I know this is American but on seeing it Phantom declared it had to be tried

she even offered to pay for it

which is a small miracle as she was born with very long pockets and extremely short arms

so in honour of such a momentous occurrance it was duly put into the basket

I must say it is quite a puzzling substance

and why on earth does it need to be in a shatterproof jar

is there some danger factor here that we don't know about

maybe it randomly jumps of kitchen benches????

As it turned out it is the stuff of miracles

because not only did Phantom Short Arms pay for it

she also put two foods touching on her rice toast

not just touching, but actually weirdly melting into each other

and she ate it

chased it down with a bucket of the pine coconut drink

that has been her constant companion this holidays

but it was eaten

and she said she was considering changing her name from Phantom Steve

to Jet Puff Phantizzle

which appeals to me mightily

I can't wait to call Jet Puff to dinner

or better yet when we are out at the shops

Jet Puff where are you Jet Puff???

I myself didn't try the stuff

and although Sinus did threaten to put his finger in it 

which would have rendered it instantly inedible for Phantom

he has so far restrained him self

and he is off playing golf today so all is quiet on the home front

which is absolute bliss and I did enjoy painting it

a perfect Sunday Sketch subject

happy last week of school holidays all ... xx

This week my blog has been all about holiday antics...

Why School Holidays Do My Head in Part 2 ...

Game For A Bit Of Nostalgia.....

Why School Holidays Do My Head In Part 2....

The good news is I have made it to Friday of week one of the Spring holidays

bad news is that the holidays have continued as they started

board games have become blood sports

both husband and daughter are under a life ban from the Wii

having possession of the tv remote has taken on life and death proportions

the whole house seems to have been transformed

 into a sort of high stakes obstacle course of cups, plates, game pieces, dvd's and rubbish

my nerves are now completely shot

and even the dog has acquired a nervous twitch

which is rather unfortunate as he also has hay fever

so now we have twitchy sneezes 

and you never know which way to move to avoid the avalanche of doggy snot

The first three days of the break consisted of Sinus and Phantom

annoying the bejesus out of each other... and me

to the point where I actually sent each to a different floor of the house 

and told them they couldn't return until they heard the oven timer go off

now I may have done the sneaky extending of the time a few times 

but it seemed to give them enough space that they calmed down to a tolerable level

great news for me, not so great for the mutt

They seem to have decided poor Mushu is to be the focus of their combined need to torture

they have discovered how endlessly funny it is to hide from him

then jump out and scare the pillicks out of him as he walks past

they have crept up on him while he is asleep, hidden his favourite toys

and blamed him for everything from the constantly emptying fridge

and the mess that is slowly but surely consuming the whole house

not to mention that he hasn't been doing the dishes 

from any of the 50 million meals and snacks he is apparently eating

It would appear that he is also managing to drink 

litres and litres of pine coconut drink

so much of this stuff has been consumed 

I have been half expecting spontaneous bouts of hula dancing 

I sort of heard mutters about how funny it would be to see the dog in a grass skirt

and mentions of coconut bikinis 

but I am hoping that his explosive snot filled sneezing

may in fact save him from that indignity

I could possibly intervene 

but at this stage I am more concerned it will mean they will turn on me

so I am throwing him under the bus people

and he can fend them off as best he can

happy Friday everyone... especially my friends over at PPF...xx

Holiday torture fun has been discussed in these last two posts...

Game For A Bit Of Nostalgia ...

Why School Holidays Do My Head In ....

Game For A Bit Of Nostalgia....

Aimee over at Artsyville has started List it Tuesdays back up

and set a topic of things that make you nostalgic

and yes it is Wednesday but you can all get over it

my nerves are shot and my head is spinning

and quite frankly it is a small miracle I am getting anything up at all

as we are now deep into the first week of school holidays

makes me nostalgic for peace and quiet

but I figured a blank piece of paper is a tad cheeky so

here is a sort of half assed list of games that make me nostalgic...

1. Our old Monopoly set never fails to bombard me with memories

as kids we played endlessly

and for years and years my Dad always won

though it turns out that after reading the rules many years later

he had been cheating shamelessly

but that is part of his charm... or so he says

Anyway

Sinus and I have dragged this thing all over the country

and have had epic games that last for days

against each other and friends

there have been family challenges with trophies

and as Phantom got old enough to play she was introduced to it as well

sadly for us it would appear she is a Monopoly Savant

and to this day hasn't been beaten

she doesn't even cheat... she just nails us every single time

has sort of taken the fun out of it to tell you the truth....

as a side note she is also a Yahtzee freak

and gets yahtzee at least once every single bloody game

it's just not normal or right...

2. next is Scrabble

which is my least favourite game in the history of the world

I used to love it

until I married Sinus and discovered that it could in fact be played

at a place so slowly that you physically age between goes

I know it is his strategy because by the time it is my go 

I am whacking any old word down just to end the agony 

of the 20 minutes of my life that I will never get back

and he inevitably wins or I give up

but also there was the infamous Waffer incident

in which Sinus declared it was a word so vehemently

that he and Phantom almost came to blows... it was dictionaries at 100 paces

and I all but had to hold them apart...and it looked not unlike a rugby scrum 

at least it was entertaining I suppose

3. Finally there is Jenga

which you would think would be a nightmare for someone with my coordination

but who needs coordination

when a well placed sneeze of cough can win you the game

and of course it is great practice for unstacking our dishwasher

which somehow manages to go from neatly stacked to championship level Jenga

in the space of the rinse cycle

It is one of the great mysteries of my existence how it happens...

So there's my list

thinking I may let Sinus and Phantom loose on a few games this afternoon

and let them take each other out so I can have some peace

worth a try I think....xx 

I am also sharing this over at Artist's Playroom

because if the holiday madness continues 

I may not get the chance to get another painting done!!!

My last two blog posts are here if you want a look....

Why School Holidays Do My Head In ....

A Broken Tale ....

Why School Holidays Do My Head In....

This sketch is the only thing I have looked like completing since Spring break started

which is only one day ago

it feels longer though

because, while I love my daughter and husband dearly

having them both home is not that conducive to good work habits

and I despair of how I will survive the next few weeks

I am not being overly dramatic or mean .... honestly

here is a run down of my first day of the break

Phantom is brilliantly stupid

she has a magnificent brain but is somewhat patchy on the common sense skills

I was just starting to work when she called out

that she needed a scooper thing for the pool to catch the little lobster thing

lobster thing??? all I could think was how did a prawn get in the pool? 

did it have wings.... ooo maybe we can sell it on ebay???

so I duly send Sinus out with scooper... 

which required him to brave the spider infested shed

to have him take a look at the lobster thing

not a lobster it turns out

or a prawn with wings

it is, in fact,  a grasshopper

now Phantom has academic achievements and awards spilling out her ears

but it seems she doesn't know the difference between a grasshopper and a crustacean

Sinus dropped the scooper in disgust and left the poor dead thing in its icy grave

We duly taunted and teased her and retreated back to our various activities

next I hear a splash from the pool 

and spy her sitting on the edge freezing her toes off

now I know it is getting warm 

but Sinus had to brush small ice bergs out of the way to get to the lobster/ grasshopper

but she is in swimmers braving the pool

so like the good, supportive and nurturing parent that I am

I bet her $50 that she won't get in

not up to her knees in, but up to her shoulders in

keep in mind, the lobster/ grasshopper has sunk back to the bottom of the pool

and she hates bugs and critters

and she usually wraps herself in a blanket

after eating a bowl of ice cream in the middle of Summer

so I am figuring it is a safe bet

 but no...the little bugger did it...

up to her armpits

her skin was red raw and she was having trouble breathing

but I had to take the $50 out and put it in her badly shaking hand

the day pretty much got weirder from there in

there was the pouring out of a perfectly good drink when I was at the sink

because Sinus put his finger in it

still haven't got to the bottom of why he put his finger in her drink

but when asked if this was the case, he fessed up to it

don't think I want to know

plus the long conversation about the cut of chicken called a Maryland

not Merry Lambs as Phantom had previously thought

turns out she had been puzzled by this for some time

which bought up the fact that she thought it was a Ham Bag

so we stuff our car keys and wallets sundry items in a container of cured meat???

and this was until recently.... seriously

she was happy that both things made much more sense now

and duly declared the problem with English 

is that people don't pronounce their consonants properly

we were also tortured by endless rounds of Mario cart, Wii archery

and a scary, almost physical game of Wii bowling

that almost resulted in Sinus and Phantom braining each other

all of which was completed to a soundtrack of bad seventies and eighties Karaoke

because the people who live behind us were having a big party 

and had the music cranked to an ungodly volume

so the whole neighbourhood could enjoy their out of tune, drunken singing

all night.... yahoo for us

so it is a miracle I am functioning at all today

and found the brain power to sit and do some sketches

from a magazine I was reading while drinking my breakfast smoothie

I was going to so some painting

but I have again been called to break up round two of the Wii war

 that has erupted between my two beloveds

I sent the dog to adjudicate but Sinus thought he is favouring Phantom

and it seems my peace negotiation skills are required

Day 2 is shaping up to be not unlike Day 1

wish me luck....xx

linking up with Sunday Sketches

My last two posts can be found with these links

if the holidays continue like this they may be the last time I make sense

or get any work done...

A Broken Tale ....

Beet That ...

A Broken Tale....

I have a bone to pick with the bloody lot of you

you have broken me

I was one of those people who gloriously sails through until late November

and then hits the panic button when I realise

 that Christmas is just around the corner

I hyperventilate for a time, make a cuppa/ pour a glass of wine

make a list of relatives and sundries to buy for

hyperventilate again

have a lie down and meditate about George Clooney to try to calm myself

and then madly shop in a frenzy for a few days before school is out

I usually have a brief time feeling smug that I have nailed it

despite knowing there is usually at least one present that is a head shaker

you know the whole what was I thinking horror

but I figure as long as the same person doesn't get head shakers every year

then I am ahead of the game

I know some of you will be slightly alarmed at this approach

 but I like to think it is part of my charm

So here's the thing

the big I can't believe you have made me do this

I have found myself sketching up Christmas cards

seriously

it is freaking September people

Spring break starts today but I am thinking Christmas

I don't know myself anymore

I could blame the unseasonably warm days

even for us here is Queensland it is Summer like

but deep down I know it is because I would like to send some cards

to blogging buddies and assorted lovelies 

and I will have to send them in enough time to allow for air mail and all that

which does make my brain bleed out my ears just a little bit

so rather than my usual haphazard approach that has served me so well

 I am thinking cards

I haven't sent a one in years 

but I find myself planning and plotting, sketching and considering

it is freaking the bejesus out of me

you have all ruined me with your support and friendship

if you weren't so wonderful then I could be sitting back now

considering my belly button and eating truffles

while watching the dust bunnies play on the lounge room floor

so I am warning you now

your card will have a design like this on it

not too Christmasy you may think

but as revenge for breaking me 

I have every intention of rubbing in the fact that it is gloriously warm

and that we are lying around the pool drinking mango and mint drinks

while you are all shivering and cursing the cold

but that is what you get for being too nice

so suck it up buttercup!!!!

linking up with Paint Party Friday... 

which is full of supportive and wonderful people

but be warned they change you in alarming ways ... xx

Something else that is alarming

is the  oh so punny title of the last post...

Beet That ...

and the slightly freaky

Meet The Greens ....

Beet That....

See these beets

they aren't just any old beets

they are Sinus beets

Yes my dear husband, Sinus is from this moment on to be known as

Farmer Sinus

not to be confused with Sinus Farmer

because I don't think I would like that very much at all

not even sure how you would farm a sinus... harvesting snores perhaps

or fields of tissues....

anyway so here they are

in all their glory direct from the back yard vegie patch

lovingly tended by the man himself

who checks on his babies every day after work

I would have drawn the snow peas

but they get eaten as fast as they grow on the vine

farmer's prerogative apparently

and I can't show you the carrots

because they are beyond mutants

they would give you nightmares

they still taste good, but boy do they look freaky

and there is something rather offputting about eating something 

that looks scarily like the a giant's arthritic toes... with bad hang nails

the beets however are a delight not just to draw and paint, but also to eat

I am planning a beet and feta tart over the weekend now they are duly drawn

So beets it is for the APR challenge  In Your Backyard

and a big thanks to Farmer Sinus for growing such wonderful specimens...

maybe the next crop of carrots will also be pretty enough to draw

if we are game to try them again that is....

Can I also take a moment to thank Rita Barton

for this wonderful award... very much appreciated...xx

My last few posts have been...

Meet The Greens ....

Shear Stupidity ....

Meet the Greens....

 I was wandering past the kitchenware store the other morning

and these babies were in the window

there was a whole display of them

and there were heaps of others

a few of which were a touch challenging

 for me to remember for future reference

without having my brain start to bleed

it was 8am after all

I was barely coherent let alone capable of whipping out my sketchbook

but on the way out I stopped for another good look

on a slope ...with full grocery trolley... 

quite a feat because if I had of let go

I would have taken out about twenty very elderly people like skittles

it was rather odd actually as they had arrived en masse

a blue rinse gang with souped up walkers

all hanging at the mall.... go figure

It was so worth a possible incident with a runaway trolley

because if I hadn't stopped for a closer look

I wouldn't have seen they have names

oh yes people some bright bugger has decided to name them

and they are a family of gadgets... the Green family

which I thought meant I was going to be treated to some awesome puns

but either they are being purposefully obtuse, or I am a bit slow

because I don't get some of the the names

On the left let me introduce Cheese Grater Gaby Green

no clue if you have to change her name if you use carrots on her

though Zelda Zucchini grater has quite the ring to it don't you think..

and then we have Potato Masher Marshall Green

not looking like any potato masher I have ever seen

I might be tempted to go and buy this one just to see how it works

to me it looks like it might flap some potatoes to death but that is about it

We then have Pizza Cutter Pepper Green

again not sure what relevance Pepper has

because we call peppers capsicums in Australia

and I don't usually put pepper pepper on pizza

very confusing

the next one is a cracker though

Mayor Corey Green... yes they went with Corey for an apple corer

finally a bit of nice obvious pun humour

though not sure why he is wearing what looked like a zorro mask

or why he is a mayor????

This final one is Citrus Reamer Joyce Green

which looks like a mighty fine gadget

though I do think that my Gran would be offended

that they named a reaming device after her

then again maybe she wouldn't have, she did have drill sergeant tendencies

and you don't see the name Joyce very often do you

so while the gadget didn't have a necklace

I added it as a tribute to Joycey  baby

who never went out without her beads on

and would have always looked put together even if it was to ream things....

Happy Sunday Sketches to all ...xx

My last two blog posts have been...

Shear Stupidity ...

Liberating all over the place ....

Shear Stupidity...

I have never claimed that my dog is a brain surgeon

in fact I think I have a healthy understanding of his many and varied limitations

which are usually far outweighed by his complete and utter adorableness

but yesterday he took his ability to make me shake my head in wonder at his stupidity

to a whole new level

In his defence I may not have started his day too well

as I may have spilled just a little blueberry tea on him

it was cool at the time, and I thought it gave him a rather dashing air

but he was rather unhappy, not at the fact that he had a strip of bluish purple hair

but that I had dropped it dead centre on his back and he couldn't get at it to lick it I think

and if that wasn't enough it was grooming day

Not that he is smart enough to remember what is happening 

and he greeted the groom with love and adoration

he sat excitedly on the table, licking her hand and generally being cute

until she started the clippers and did the first run down his back

and you could see the shock in his eyes

the OMG how did I not see that coming 

He manfully shook and whimpered his way through

the gentlest grooming in the history of the world

putting his shiver on and trying to plead for it all to be over

with his most mournful eyes gazing up at me, but 

in no time at all he had gone from woolly mammoth to spring lamb

On his feet hitting the ground he forgot all about the indignities he had suffered 

and reverted to bounding around like he had springs in his feet

and generally doing the equivalent of doggy cartwheels

he raced straight inside to try to grab his doggy crack off the shelf

he will do almost anything for these mini marrowbones

and on getting his treat for being such a wimp

he gleefully bounded out the door 

with a leap that would have won him the gold medal for high jump

he sailed through the air about three feet off the ground

didn't quite nail the landing but it looked impressive none the less

The next four hours consisted of him running around like a mad thing

jumping up on the sofa ...jumping off the sofa

jumping up on the bed while I am trying to have a nanna nap

jumping off the bed

jumping back up on the bed and depositing a smelly toy on my face

jumping off the bed in the hope I will throw said smelly toy

jump back up on the bed and be totally surprised that there is a toy up there

play with the toy on the bed until I give up on a nap

follow me downstairs... bouncing the whole way

bring every single toy he has ever owned inside ....one at a time

wanting me to look at how handsome he looks with it

run out of studio and deposit toy where ever it drops and go find a different one

trip over all toys on the way out...then again on the way back in

see if I think he lookscute with the cow/ dinosaur/ manky duck toy in his mouth

then repeat the procedure with the pink chicken/ weird fish/ purple alien type toy

tripping on them on the way out, and again on the way back in... 

seriously he tripped over every toy....every time

this went on for hours!!!!

Eventually all the acting like a puppy caught up with him

and he fell asleep on the sofa on his back like a toad squashed on the road

snoring so loudly we had to turn the volume up on the tv

Today his natural sloth like state has reasserted itself

helped by the fact that there is a cold, decidedly non Spring like wind

which means that he is tucked up on the sofa snuggled into his hoody 

or perhaps he has simply forgotten that anything happened yesterday

after all he is looking puzzled as to why all the toys

 are inside and lined up down the hall way

I'm not cleaning them up just yet as it is messing with his head I'm sure

which is totally making my day...

Happy Friday everyone, especially PPF er's ...xx

This week has been a frenzy of posts so here they all are...

Liberating All Over The Place....

When Artists Cook...

All Sorts of Juicy...