The Evil Hose Thingy....

I used to quite enjoy a bit of therapeutic watering

standing and aimlessly pointing the hose 

in the general direction of the garden

it was a few moments when I could connect with nature

then come back in the house and reward myself 

for all that gardening exertion 

with a therapeutic glass of wine

But after a few years of drought 

where the hose became a distant memory 

and the relaxation of standing and pointing

was replaced with lugging buckets and watering cans all over the place

we have had two years of crazy flooding rain

not just a bit above average rain

and trust me we would normally get quite a bit

but all year round drenching horrible mould inducing rain

if you stand still you mould up baby

and along with all that

our garden has become a jungle of epic proportions

not many flowers mind

which is a shame

because I love drawing and painting flowers

instead it is a solid wall of greens

I need one of those big cutty sabre things

 to get to the mail box every day

and we make sure we leave a note 

telling someone where we have gone into the back garden

just in case we get lost and need rescuing

you think I am kidding
but it is truly scary out there
and there has been little hose action as a result

which is just as well

because at some stage 

during the hoseless last few years

Sinus installed this hose reel thingy

which is truly the scariest piece of gardening equipment 

to ever grace this fair planet

this thing should be on the wall I think

because it rolls around as you try to get the hose out

which means you sort of have to stand over it 

with it clamped between your knees to hold it steady

while you try to pull the hose out, while it does it's very best to suck it back in
and take your hands with it

and yes it has this lever thing that is supposed to release it

but it never works

or it alternately won't feed the hose back in when you want it to

of course when you are washing the mud off the car 

 the lever decides to flip 

and the hose is ripped from your hands 

as it is sucked back into the holder at warp speed

spraying water over everyone and everything as it goes

this thing is garden evil personified
but nevertheless I am celebrating its complete contrariness
for this week's Artists Play Room
which asked us to use gardening as a theme
in the hope that it will decide to be kind to me next time
I am desperate enough  or stupid enough to use it...xx




Here is my last post in case you missed it...


Baseball Nut Green Tea...