Something that you may not know about me is that I am very neat
my brain is a mass of missed connections and random thoughts
and my organisation skills are shambolic to say the least
and any chance of remembering a date or a time
is completely beyond my capabilities
I lose things, forget what I was doing/ saying/ writing
I drop things, trip over anything in a 50 metre radius
and lose my train of thought as a matter of course...
I am very neat and tidy...
if things are too messy
I tend to implode into the darkest recesses
of all those worst traits that lurk just beneath my surface
and keeping order in my environment is the only way to keep
the chaos and randomness, that is my natural state, at bay
this is just about my only nugget of self awareness
and as such you would think that taking part in a book group
with a title called Mess may be something that I want to avoid
of course I figured how bad could it be
how messy could it get
well it gets messy
very very messy...
Lisa Over The Wright Stuff is running this free group
about Mess: the Manual of Accidents and Mistakes
by Keri Smith
and to get started she asked us to open it to a page and do what it says
I duly did this
and opened it up to a page that asked me to keep track
of random thoughts for a week
now I have addressed the fact that I can be a touch random at times
and this is a trait I barely keep a lid on
so while not exactly out of my comfort zone
it is probably quite a gentle introduction and I am duly doing it
and having a bit of fun with it...
of course not much fun posting about keeping random thoughts for a week
so I opened to another page and it's instructions were as follows...
I considered dripping coffee, because there would be that great colour
but then I figured I didn't want a book that smelt like coffee
and who would waste tea.... that is mightily sacrilegious in my book
and I'm not quite ready to go that far just yet
so dribs and drabs of watercolours that I had on my desk
seemed like just the ticket
I had been activating some twinkling H2O's
and so this has a lovely sheen and sparkle to it
so sparkly mess seemed very inviting
5 mins later I had a page looking duly messy
if a little sparkly, and
there was paint on the desk
and the orange had stained my fingers nicely
and I headed off to our 20th anniversary dinner
feeling messy and happy with myself
Now maybe it was a slight buzzing in my head
due to a little too much celebrating
or whether I was feeling guilty for making a sparkly pretty mess,
I was pretty unsatisfied when I had a look this morning
and got to work messing it up a bit more
and while there is a little way to go...
and I may do a bit more to it at some stage
I don't have to finish it
I can leave it as it is
the only question at this stage is...
Is this what Freedom tastes like
or is this just the first step into a descent into chaos in all areas of my life
maybe it is a it of both...
I kind of like that I can just leave it as it is and move onto something else
which sounds like just what I need at the moment...
thinking I may try and squeeze in one more mess before lunch...xx