Friday, 20 April 2012

The Last Mosquito

The last Mosquito of the summer
is a wily wily fellow
we have spent the week
a stalkin' and a huntin'
and yet somehow he is still alluding us


This bitey bugger is hanging on for dear life
and is starting to take on mythic proportions
so far he has managed to avoid the fly swat 
with all the cunning and wile
of a fox, serpent and road runner all rolled into one


he has even managed to avoid the cushion
which is Sinus' weapon of choice
and involves him using his considerable height to squash all unsuspecting mozzies into the ceiling with the nearest cushion
Needless to say all our cushions are dark coloured to save on washing
and by the end of the summer
the ceiling looks disturbingly like a Quentin Tarantino movie
but there is something oddly satisfying at looking up 
and seeing the evidence of the kills
and I like to leave them there for the summer as a warning to all other mozzies 
as to what fate awaits them if they dare enter


But this mighty adversary
he has laughed in the face of such a warning
  he has spit in the face of practically bathing in aerogard
and has still feasted on toes and necks
in the middle of the night
and generally made sleep all but a distant memory


He has taken one look at Lavender spray 
and dive bombed all victims as though it was a joke
I have sprayed so much around the bedroom 
that if you threw in a few mothballs
I would wake up thinking 
I had somehow done a Rip Van Winkle
and was ready for a retirement home
then again that would mean I had gotten some sleep at least


So the time has come to bring out the big guns
forget the environment
or ever having fully functioning lungs again
I am smoking his annoying, bitey, buzzy ass
with the whole can of spray next time he ventures into the room
I will come out of this coughing and spluttering
and possibly growing an extra appendage due to chemical overload
but I will raise all three arms in a victory salute
the likes of which the house has never witnessed...


and I will then retire happily to the studio 
to visit everyone over at
I eat Mozart Balls
which were part of the most amazing package of wonderful
from the uber generous Valerie at Bastelmania
who showered me with Tea, and wonderful artworks
which are already framed and gracing my wall


And if all that wasn't special enough
 it included Mozart balls
which she sent in response to my post


Valerie assured me that Mozart had it all over Buddha in the ball stakes
and I have to say she was right
these balls are delicious...
which has to be a great line to end on 
especially if someone has just scrolled to the end of the post
so I repeat
These balls are delicious...xx










51 comments:

Vicki Holdwick said...

Tracey,

You are too funny - but I do feel for you when it comes to mosquitoes.

The only thing worse are the black flies that I encounter at my Mom's house in the UP of Michigan. They are called "no see-ems" and you really don't see them, but they leave the bloody evidence of their visit behind your ears and other out of the way places that itch like crazy.

We are just coming into summer and the mosquitoes are surely not far behind.

xoxo

Rita said...

From what I know of mosquitoes, it's the females who you hear buzzing and who bite you. There's nothing worse than trying to sleep with a mosquito in the room!! I may be an animal lover but I have killed many insects in my day--mostly mosquitoes--LOL!

Enjoy your Mozart balls!! LOL!! ;)

Jennifer McLean said...

aah, sweetheart, you do keep me in stitches and chocolate envy, lol. I love that your friend found another way for you to be able to say stuff like "these balls are delicious. Now, in a day or two (who am I kidding, later tonight!) you can write a post entitled "I ate Mozart's last ball" Gotta laugh at that one! even better than buddha!

Victoria said...

Super fabulous post..you always always make me smile..and giggle!! Gorgeous works..!!
Victoria

VonnyK said...

You are hillarious, I can't tell you how many times I have been in that exact same situation. At least they go away for winter.
Aren't you lucky getting goddies, the chocs look yummy.
Von.

Heather said...

You are too funny!! Thanks so much for the laugh!! Yummmm Mozart Balls!

Bella said...

That mozzie of yours has cousins here in Africa! Luckily we are heading for winter and I have not had the pleasure (sarkie comment) of their company for a few nights. At least they don't like my blood so they don't bite me, but they dive bomb my ear...zzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz which wakes me up and so it goes! Thanks for the laugh, waving all 3 arms back at you!

Lesley Edmonds said...

hahahaha!!!!!!! ROFL!!! My goodness was there ever such a war waged against one bad mosquito!!! I have this vision of your ceiling covered in brown/red splurges lol! Great tale!! Love your artwork!!!
What the heck are Motzart balls - think I'll stick to my maltesers!!
x

craftattack said...

Glad you are enjoying your Mozart balls, have fun! I HATE mosquitoes, but they all love me. They queue up over my bed to wait their turn....
So, Tracey, be brave, bite your way through those balls! Hugs, Valerie

Rosie Kaplan said...

that was fun. We're plauged by mozzies in the summer. We only have tank water on the Island and they breed very happily in the tanks. We have these little pads that you put into a plug and they disappear. We use half a pad and it works just a well as a whole one. They are natural too.

Netty said...

Loving your humour and smashing artwork. Yum those chocs certainly look delicious, enjoy. Happy PPF and enjoy the weekend, Annette x

NatashaMay said...

I know! Mozart Kugeln are my fave! :)Love your drawing and I do hope you get rid of that mosquito before you grow the third arm. :)

WrightStuff said...

Mmmm. I saw those balls on Valerie's site too. Delicious!

Go get that mozzie. I think you should put him in your Messy Book - what a work of art he will make!

Mary Walker Designs said...

It's amazing how something so little can cause so much grief.

New End Studio said...

I have a decade old can of hairspray, shows you how often I use it, and a spray of that kills 'em. Dangerous stuff, hairspray!

Just read your feature guest post on Dion Dior's blog. I'm picturing your two inner goddess and muse on the town. Funny!

Your tea drawings are some of my favorites.

La Abela said...

What a good drawing! you are bunisima with the details, as the ball is a pity that not caught it by closer (you would ask a, I love the chocolate). Saludos

Christine said...

lovely art and a wonderful tribute to mosquitoes those pesky creatures! What a fabulous gift from Valerie!

carlarey said...

Think of all the painting you'll get done with your extra arm! Let's hear it for chemical warfare!

I think you are the only person I know who could make bug killing apparatus into such charming paintings.

Nigel Roberts said...

One of the plus points of being a decrepit, doddery old git is that the mossies and other critters leave me alone; I think they prefer fresh meat lol

Love the pictures, hopefully your next post will have a red splodge on it, and no sound :)

Kim Dellow said...

LOL! Brilliant post! Kim

Cottage Remnant said...

Too funny :0)
You should try "original Listerine" and water in a spray bottle....they HATE the stuff...

blessings,
Cindy♥

Helen Campbell said...

Ah, the hunt of the last mosquito. You have me laughing out loud this morning. We are just heading into our mosquito season, however don't seem to have an over abundance where we live. *knock on wood*
Happy Friday!

Debbie said...

Great painting! Good luck with the mosquitos! I did not know about Mozart balls. They look amazing.

Paula - Buenos Aires said...

Last mosquito? You are lucky! We are having a weird wear-Tshirt-and-dont-forget-the-sunscreen weather with high humidity and a gazillion bugs. Good for photo ops though. Silver lining and all that. ;)

Gloria said...

Love your sense of humor. Your illustrations are awesome and love the story as well. I had a great time visiting and laughing thank you. Happy PPF!

ArtMuseDog and Carol said...

Wow! ~ You are too funny ~ all that energy for a mosquito ~ Glad you still had beautiful energy to paint ~ fun painting and wonderful gifts from Bastelmania ~ Mozart balls ~ hmmm ~ enjoy ~thanks, namaste ^_^

Stephanie Mealor Corder said...

I have to admit that I HATE skeeters- but I love your painting of one! And now you have me craving balls; the chocolate kind!
Hugs to you my sista!
Stephanie

kimmie said...

too funny! lucky for you mosquito season is coming to an end - ours is just beginning - I think I might need some chocolate now :)

Anne said...

Great post, thanks for the laugh! Love the painting, bloodspots and all! :-D

Sadee Schilling said...

Hahaha! Love it, love it! :)

laurie said...

ha ha ha, thats so funny, beautiful work as well, those chocolates look very good, i've never heard of these,

Carol said...

LOL! I have tears running down my face from laughing at you post. Thanks for spreading your cheer.

Serena Lewis said...

What a funny post...laughed like crazy! Great sketch too!

I have to say that we've been fairly lucky with mozzies inside the house the past few years...none that we've been aware of. I do know the frustration of hearing a mozzie buzzing around just waiting for a chance to swoop.

I find that, as with flies, you grab the can of spray and the culprits disappear. Put the spray away and they're back with a vengeance. It's like they KNOW what the can of spray is. Drives me nuts when trying to battle the wayward fly that finds it way inside the house.

Have a mozzie-free weekend! xo

Mary C. Nasser said...

Love your posts!
The mosquito painting is great!!
Love the tiny blood splatter about it!!
You are an uber-talented painter and writer!
♥♥♥
Happy PPF!!
Mary
Mixed-Media Map Art

Ayala Art said...

How can you make something so awesome out of a mosquito?? Great art work! (And funny too)

Kristin said...

LOL! You crack me up! AND your illustrations of the Summer kill is brilliant ;) Blood splatters and everything! Have a great weekend and too much chocolate, xoxo

Lynn said...

I love your style of drawing.
the blood got to me though. Had to go lay down. LOL

Catherine... said...

Lol, Mozart balls and Buddha balls.. You've got to give it to the mosquito and squish his balls.... :) have a great weekend...

Lindsay Drya Vanhove said...

Hahahaha this was so much fun to read! You are such a good storyteller!

pauline said...

LOL!!! Mozart balls?!? I wanna live where you live. They look delicious (even on my monitor!) Your post made me laugh (as usual). We have our own mosquito in the house. My son calls him his pet and warns everyone not to kill him. (it's only spring here, & we usually don't get mosquitos until the summer, so my son thinks this one must be magical somehow...) LOVED the blood splattered mosquito painting... hehheheee. You rock.

Diana Evans said...

Hi Tracey!!! I am so not a fan of these pests....but you have made them look amazing!!! you are so talented!!! and your chocolates look so good....Mozart balls....!!!

Have a super fun and creative weekend!!!!

Alicia said...

A mighty, mighty mosquito indeed! THe way he was drawn on here, would be hard to catch! Love mozart balls - last time I had them was, appropriately, in Vienna :D eons ago

Ginny said...

Never heard of Mozart balls. I wonder how they will look at me if I ask for them in the store? Great illustrations and story. Hope your mosquito doesn't head my way.

An'Angelia Thompson said...

Ha! I was LMAO reading this post! My hubby could so relate. Mosquitoes fortunately have no interest in me - especially when hubby's around. Just last night as we were sitting on the deck with our evening coffee, he said to me, "When the zombies arrive, I suggest you leave." I asked, "WHAT are you talking about?" He replied, "They will sniff me out for sure and eat me alive - just like these *#*$) mosquitoes!" LOL

Gloria said...

I love your sense of humor and beautiful artwork. Nice work. Happy PPF!

Hybrid J said...

Such wicked sense of humor, just got me smiling all the way. Enjoy your line work! Wonderful!

Gloria said...

Scandalous! Must say talking of stalking, killing and mens' balls! Yikes! What a hoot! I hope all those skeeters run for the hills. Great sketches and paintings,Tracey.
Thanks, Tracey, for your comment on my blog. your input is really appreciated.

Jenn said...

I always love coming here for a dose of chuckles!! I hope you got that stinkin' mosquito! We're just revving up here to battle them ourselves!! Love your "illustrations" to go along with your story! And dang Mozart balls look superdelish - like they just melt in your mouth!! :)

Kristin Dudish said...

Hahahahahaha!!!
*snort*
Hahahahahaha!!!

Giggles said...

Beyond hilarious!! Very entertaining post...especially the ballsy ending...lol Wonderful illustrations..

Hugs Giggles

Lorinda @ Everyday Endeavours said...

Tracey, you made me laugh so hard I've started a coughing fit. There's nothing more I can say.... :-) xx